We were getting ready for my work Christmas party. I went in to Chloe's room to try and pursuade her to choose something I'd like her to wear to the party. (She has a few things that I think are absolutely adorable on her, that just aren't her favorite.) After a short conversation, I found myself walking out of her room mumbling and complaining about how she never lets me pick her clothes. I remember saying "C'mon, Chloe... this is just so pretty on you... please?"
As I arrived back in my closet to get myself ready.... as I was choosing for myself what I was going to wear... and what I felt most comfortable with... my words to her were ringing in my ears. I'd put pressure on her to do and be how *I* saw her. I was basically telling her that how she saw herself wasn't pretty or good enough for me. I felt horrible.
Chloe was in there getting ready. She was putting on party clothes she felt most comfortable with, and she knew that I didn't completely approve. That was not okay with me.
I talked to Abby for a minute about it, and went right back in to Chloes room and asked if I could talk to her for a minute. I sat on her floor and I said:
"Chloe honey, I'm sorry I talked to you the way I did. I love you just the way you are. You are fun and beautiful and I really love your personality and how you choose things. I think any party clothes you wear tonight will be just right."
She melted in to me, and stuck her lip out a bit and said quietly.
"Thank you, mommy. That really helps, I love you, too."
I could tell she was touched and all the tension and insecurity I'd instilled in her melted away. I really hope that over time, I catch myself whenever I get on the wrong foot. All I ever want to do is build her up.
As it turns out, she was adorable, and her party outfit was absolutely perfect for the party. She was comfortable and confident the whole night.